More Than Enough

 Markaylon Carroway

Dr. Harris

ENGL 2017-65125

1 May 2025

More Than Enough

Sacrifice is a word we all grew up hearing. We might regard it as surrendering, like giving away the last piece of pizza or letting someone else take a turn first. But when we get down to it, sacrifice is much more than that, particularly for mothers. The sacrifices mothers make go unnoticed, all the time. It’s the kind that hums in the background of everyday life. It’s the purest form of love, and nobody has taught me that better than my mom in my life. Sacrifice, by definition, is the giving up of something valuable for the sake of something or someone considered more important or worthy. It is exactly what has happened, time and time again, with my mom, me, and my siblings. From turning down better jobs out of state, to eating only when we have enough, to taking on all the bills and responsibility without a complaint — she has been there. And she’s doing it not for attention or accolades but simply because she loves. Her story — and others like hers — is why the issue of sacrificial motherhood is so important to me. In bell hooks’ Salvation, specifically in Chapter 7, she discusses that love is not just a feeling, it’s something we do. True love, she says, is not something you feel; it’s something you do. Teens Tell Us How They Cope With It Teens Tell Us How They Cope With It ‘In Love’ ‘In Love’ Charlotte Hamrick, College: University of North Carolina School of the Arts. We fall in love with the same person every day. This reminds me of my mom. Her love for us is not flashy or loud. It’s the way she drives across town so she can take us to school or work. It’s in how she manages every bill, cooks every meal, and still finds time to check in on us. The kind of love hooks describes — the kind that saves, that sustains, that sacrifices. What do you think of when someone mentions strong women? But my mom is one of the strongest women I know, and she’s never had a title or a fancy paycheck. Her power is her endurance, of willing herself to keep fighting when things are hard. She's felt the money stress, the pressure, the holding back of your dreams — but she continued to persevere. She turned down other offers that could have taken her to different cities — and higher salaries — because she didn’t want to leave her kids or make our lives more difficult. That's a sacrifice. That’s love. This kind of selflessness is all too common among mothers, particularly in societies where resources are thin on the ground and women carry the weight of the home and the heart. Moms are celebrated by society for being giving and nurturing, but rarely do we pause to think about how much that constant giving costs them. bell hooks raises this as well—how women, especially Black women, are expected to give of themselves as an expression of love, even if it means disregarding their wants and needs. It is admired, but it can also be unfair. Yet as I’ve aged, I’ve begun to understand another perspective on this narrative. Yes, my mom sacrificed a lot, but she also received something powerful in exchange. Her sacrifices made us stronger, more self-reliant , and more thankful. I learned what true love looks like watching her work so hard. It taught me about responsibility, commitment, and caring. In a sense, her sacrifices were a kind of freedom, too, I think. Not freedom in the sense of doing anything you as please, but freedom in determining what matters most and being willing to make sacrifices to preserve it. That, for hooks, is the kind of love that’s “liberating,” the kind that makes others strong. My mom’s love didn’t bind me; it liberated me. It afforded me a stepping stone to rise from. It taught me how to toil, how to love, and how never, ever to give up on the people you love. It’s that kind of upbringing that creates resilience, and I carry that with me in everything I do. I know my mom didn’t have to take that extra step. She could have picked an easier road for herself. But she didn’t — and I will forever respect her for that. Meanwhile, it’s worth acknowledging that moms shouldn’t always have to make every sacrifice. Loving your kids doesn’t have to mean losing yourself. I think that’s part of what bell hooks wants us to see. Sure, sacrificial love is strong and can be beautiful, but we also need to build a society where moms don’t have to choose between their dreams and their children’s needs. We do have to help mothers in a way that allows them to love without burning up and care without disappearing. So what value do we place on all this? First, we need to begin by recognizing and valuing mothers and all caregivers, not just on holidays, but on all days. We see the little things: the sack lunches, the trips to practice, the sacrifices we don’t see. Second, we advocate for the importance of emotional labor and caregiving. These acts of love are worth every bit as much as any paycheck. Finally, we redefine what power looks like. It’s not only about these large achievements. It’s in those quiet moments of care that make us who we are. These sacrificial mothers , such as my own, remind us all that love is more than talk. Its actions. It’s patience. It’s late nights, early mornings. It’s going without so that someone else can have enough. It’s a deep, abiding commitment that demands nothing in return. And when that sort of love is a burden, it can also be a tremendous force. It builds strong kids. It creates safe homes. And it sets the stage for future generations to dare to dream a little bigger. To me, my mom isn’t just the woman who made sacrifices — she’s the woman who gave her all, who never had to give me an explanation from the day I was born and wasn’t required to except for when I asked. And through her, I have learned what love is all about. I’ve witnessed that it is in giving that we receive, and strength can come from the most unlikely of sources. That’s what sacrificial motherhood is: not only loss, but transformation. It’s a love that doesn’t change people by holding them back, but by raising them.