Loving Within- Mixtape

 Kadence White

Dr. Harris

ENGL 2017

1 May 2025

Loving Within

Loving someone on a deeper and genuine level usually requires a solid foundation of self-love. We must first nurture our own sense of acceptance and worth, before we truly can give our hearts to another. “To choose love, we must choose a healthy model of female agency and self-actualization, one rooted in the understanding that when we love ourselves well (not in a selfish or narcissistic way), we are best able to love others” (hooks 41). 

Self-love enables us to cultivate emotional resilience, understand our own personal needs, and allows us to set healthy boundaries. We are able to create a space for authentic connections, when we acknowledge our flaws and embrace our strengths. This inner confidence allows us to foster relationships which are built on mutual respect and understanding, while loving others and not losing ourselves. Ultimately, the journey of loving ourselves paves the way for more meaningful and deeper love with others.

“Feeling Good” by Nina Simone (1965) is like an explosion of freedom and finally accepting yourself. It’s about shaking off the past and diving headfirst into a new now. There is a feeling of being at peace with yourself and owning who you are. You must have that before you can truly love anyone else. Whitney Houston’s “I’m Every Woman” (1978) – it’s not just about being a superwoman for everyone else. It hints that you must be super aware of yourself and what you’re capable of first. That is what lets you build real, solid connections with other people. 

Erykah Badu asserted her boundaries in “Tyrone” (1997), respectfully pushing for proper treatment in relationships. This form of self-love promotes well-being and ensures that her needs are met, while eliminating any possibility of mistreatment. In Hill’s “Doo Wop (That Thing)” (1998), Hill comments on self-respect as well as the avoidance of inconsistency – indicative of a strong internal compass prompting genuine interactions. India.Arie’s “Brown Skin” (2001) underscores self-love, fueling positive self-identity, which fosters wholeness necessary for connecting with others. Jill Scott’s “A Long Walk” (2001) depicts a relationship grounded in companionship and acceptance. Through this, it is implied that each person is secure in themselves prior to entering a partnership. In “The Light” (2002), Common tenderly edifies a partner and praises them but not without deep affection, which is mutual respect. The way he expresses admiration hints that an individual must be self-affirming to fully appreciate another.

J. Cole’s “Love Yourz” (2014) is like a wake-up call to be thankful for the love that we have, which hints that you must know your worth loving in the first place. Lizzo’s “Good as Hell” (2016) is all about being okay after a breakup, showing that taking care of yourself first is the key to moving on. Mary J. Blige’s remix of “Love Yourself” (2017) with A$AP Rocky doubles down on the saying, “you have to love yourself before anyone else can.” In “Queen” (2018), Janelle Monae makes the point that once you accept yourself and not giving a care in the world, then you can truly appreciate others for who they are as well. “Good Days” (2020) is another song that correlates to this journey of loving oneself. SZA dives into her discovery towards finding inner peace and healing, which implies that this personal growth fosters healthier relationships. Finally, “On My Mama” (2023) has been one of the best songs for this generation for not only me, but for others as well. This song exudes self-love and confidence, which is a powerful energy that allows for authentic connection and naturally draws others in.

In essence, the capacity to love other hinges on the strength of our self-love. Embracing our authentic selves and prioritizing our well-being, we lay the groundwork for genuine connections. Self-love equips us with emotional intelligence to navigate relationships with clarity and empathy. It empowers us to give love freely without sacrificing our identity, fostering a dynamic of mutual understanding and respect. Therefore, the path to profound love with others begins with the transformative journey of loving ourselves.  


MIXTAPE

  1. “Feeling Good” – Nina Simone (1965)

  2. “I’m Every Woman” – Whitney Houston (1978)

  3. “Tyrone” – Erykah Badu (1997)

  4. “Doo Wop (That Thing)” – Lauryn Hill (1998)

  5. “Brown Skin” – India.Arie (2001)

  6. “A Long Walk” – Jill Scott (2001)

  7. “The Light” – Common (2002)

  8. “Love Yourz” – J.Cole (2014)

  9. “Good as Hell” – Lizzo (2016)

  10. “Love Yourself” (Remix) feat. A$AP Rocky – Mary J. Blige (2017)

  11. “Queen” – Janelle Monae (2018)

  12. “Good Days” – SZA (2020)

  13. “On My Mama” – Victoria Monet (2023)

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